Memories of a Vacation

God knows how badly I was in need of a break from routine. Two years since my last vacation, I was getting a bit grumpy in general. Landing in Goa, the drive from airport to resort itself seemed to kick-start the recovery process. Cool, soothing breeze (at 3 pm) -- I later learned it'd rained the previous day -- rolling in from the window, lust green fields and foliage all around, village homes with their distinctive local architecture dotting the roadside. The roads I used to decry during previous years as potholed - now so smooth and even - they'd been resurfaced after the monsoon perhaps. They put the current state of roads in New Bombay to shame.

Back in our familiar resort, settling into a nice big apartment with a master bathroom that outsizes the biggest room in our home in the city. The resort has  nice little store - well stocked - so I pick up a bottle of port wine, a pair of swim trunks (only used the pool once, but it was worth it), bread, and (seen and tasted after ages) Amul Cheese Spread. My maternal uncle supplies two jars of my favorite Alphonso Mango jam. It's amazing how good toasted bread and cheese-spread & jam sandwiches feel at breakfast. We still follow it up with breakfast at the resort restaurant. Small wonder I tip the scales an extra three kilos by the end of the vacation. Fish, cashews, good food - oh we ate!

And relaxed! Long strolls by the beach, sploshing in the waves as they gently break on the beach. Felt at peace - a sense of just being and melting into the vastness of the universe. I wonder why the sea is so calming. Maybe it's immensity makes one's bothers seem insignificant. Maybe it's the sound of the waves - constant, soothing. Maybe it's the feeling of one's feet sinking into the sand and sploshing in the water. Who knows.

Back from a peaceful and refreshing vacation. Was hoping our adoptive cat was okay. Had requested the neighbour to feed it in our absence. But apparently poogie didn't feed out of her dish and disappeared altogether after two days. It's now the fourth day since our return but still no sign. Hope the little bugger is ok and returns soon.

Had been living without a regular camera for a long time (was using the smart phone till it conked - but doesn't compare with a dedicated cam). Got a digicam some months ago and put it to good use on the vacation. There's a lot to be said for high-res, good quality snaps that come out of an adjustable focus camera lens. Even more to be said in favour of printing and distributing prints of pix among friends and relatives. Reliving happy memories and sharing good times is what keeps us going and healthy. Something we've generally cut back on since the transition from film roll to digital clicks. Sure almost everyone we know is on Facebook now. But there'll always be a generation that hasn't completely bridged (the latest) wave in the digital divide, and some folks who have a preference for tactile. Or maybe it's just me that's a bit old-fashioned.

Of planes, bitches and beaches

a simple vacation... an eyeopener that provides many insights.
Just how dependent have we become on electronics. I sat up till 1.30 am this morning, packing and repacking. Repacking?  There's this marked preference for travelling light, instilled in me by my father, in our joint amazement and ridicule of, the mountain loads of luggage that the average Indian family carries on flights and vacations in general. You know the sight -- trolleys laden with bags that would take a strongman to lift  -- bags with dimensions that might give you a hernia at the thought of lifting them off a baggage carousel. So we always ganged up on my mother to get her to reduce the load that a woman feels inclined to pack on a trip outside home -- namely the urge to transport home with her.

anyhow, on this occasion, my mission was to reduce two bags to one. which i did, at the expense of some shuteye. (that I was industriously engaged in this endeavor till the wee hours -- and I'm someone who loves to snooze - should tell you how obsessed i am with travelling light).

but i digress. electronics! i needed my laptop yes, as I had some work to tend to during the vacation. but i also wanted to take advantage of the free time to listen to audio books,  music, catalogue my collection and cleanup some deadwood. so that meant i'd take my dedicated juke box (a netbook) along, and also my mp3 player for listening to before bed time. and of course what's a vacation without a camera. and then there are cellphones and chargers, and the camera usb cable/charger adapter. and of course i'd like to be able to do some reading on the beach or the bus, so there goes the kindle and it's cable. oh and the laptop adapters, and mouse! at the end of this my backpack felt like it was loaded with rocks! luckily it's built pretty sturdy and didn't give way. but in the end, i realised i'm packing as much electronics (or more), as I have clothes! so much for travelling light.

at the airport, was forced to catch sight of (they were in the waiting lounge standing next to their kids seated in  the row of chairs directly facing me), some hot young mothers. Young girls really, wedded into rich money, dressed ultra-stylishly in minis, and the most expensive clothing and accessories from head to toe. didn't hurt that they weren't too bad looking either -- which would explain why they were married into rich money. but i digress again. they had with the three kids in tow, a nanny -- who herself was a young girl, quite pretty by any standard, and well dressed -- like a trendy teenager from any upper middle class family. Now this nanny's job profile was to take care of the feeding and play activities of the kids, while the mother's themselves played out their part of bored, rich ultra-mod babes (mommies, no! eeks! just babes with kid appendages.) It was amusing. and i'm willing to bet those kids will grow up with complexes or maybe lack of affection towards their natural mothers, or worst case a bunch of people who treat affection as an object that is up for sale, like a trophy wife.

back on the beach after nearly two years, it doesn't cease to amaze me, the power of transportation, whether physical or ethereal, like the communication of ideas. just this morning i was 300 miles away, and now here i am with the waves shifting white sand under my feet.

Standing with my face out to the ocean, watching a red sunset, listening to the rough yet soothing crashing of the waves. the sea meeting the horizon with a tranquility that brings the edginess of my mind into relief. that's when i sense the insignificance of my being. the elemental nature of the thing that is me. lying in those cool white sands i wonder how far removed I am from my essence. staring into that vast infinity of the ocean, i glimpse both insignificance and potential. But i cannot absorb that potential, unless i empty myself first. and so i go to the infinity of the ocean, to empty myself on it's shores and to breath in again, anew.

Riding on the wrong side of the road...

Got back to cycling after a two week hiatus.

KH (Kharghar Hill) is off limits during the monsoons - they block the roads for safety from rockslides - so missing that beautiful 6 km climb.
Got restless by evening and took the bike out for a spin in Kgr (Kharghar) instead.

On my last climb of KH, had spotted from the top, what looked like a good uphill trek opportunity. The entry point is a bylane that starts right before the Kgr Valley Golf course.

So I pedalled upto there and explored as much of the bylane as I could. The bylane turns out to be a a rocky road strewn out alongside the surviving table top hills in this extension of the Sahayadri range. The passage hugs the perimeter of the golf course, all the to a valley in it's backyard. Could afford many opportunities for hill climbing at a later date, for now just a little off-roading adventure.

Pedalled out of there and back into Kgr, passing the entry point for Pandavkada falls, which is more like an extended car parking zone right opposite Central Park, with people enjoying the drizzle and charcoal roasted corncobs on the sidewalk.
Right after Tata Memorial Hospital, there's a brand new tarred stretch of road that's currently closed to motorists, stretching upto the other (village) entry point for Pandavkada. Felt beautiful cycling there without the road bumps. Smooth, virgin road. At the end, I caught up with a rainbow.

Cycling back, I rode, on the wrong side of the road. Primarily to feel safer against the onslaught of increasing traffic in the evening. But it really felt scarier with bikers and cars trying to overtake in the slow lane! You also get to take in addition sights - apart from the natural beauty - lassies doing photo shoots,  and somewhere, a couple making out in their stationary car - now I'm not one to ogle or interrupt, I just happened to glance as I stuck to the extreme right side of the road.

Reached home and washed down my bike and me, both mudcoated from the ride. Discovered later, that I had quite the rooster trail - from the seat of my pants to the back of my head. So I'm definitely getting a set of mudguards before my next ride.

Suck that...

For all the times that you were such a bitch,
and I humoured you cos I loved you,
Suck that!

For all the times that I bit down on my ego
cos I thought it was just a bad patch you were going through,
suck that!

For all the times I desisted from calling a spade a spade,
cos I saw in you, something that never was,
suck that!

Those times are but a faded memory, for I see you now
in your true jaded colours.

And I can scream into the wind, and sing,
'Piss off sucker, I deserve better!'

So really now,
suck that!

Strange Melancholy

It's strange that I should feel this way,
I wonder if I feel sad that you're going away,
I tell myself i don't, no, why should I,
knowing well that you're the one who pushed me away.

The only way I'd feel sad was if I thought I was the reason
that made you go away.

I tell myself I'm indifferent,
I'm neither happy nor sad
now that you're going away.

But why do i catch myself feeling melancholy,
do i miss you now that you're going?
no, but still i'll miss seeing you around.
it's a strange kind of feeling.

You told me in those heady days,
that you weren't right for me,
'you need a sweet-heart like candy,
not some crazy vodka-shot mystery'

And when when you cast off without a reason
I finally saw you were right.
You were right and i was wrong,
about the crazy vodka-shot mystery.

It's just too bad it had to end this way
and at times I wonder how we went about
to end up on our separate ways.

Do I miss you,
'no'! I hear myself say,

And yet a part of me is gonna miss
having you around,
vodka-shot mystery.

Rays of Gold

Suddenly I feel at peace with myself,
suddenly I feel a load lifted off my head.

Words I kept from speaking,
flow out, a river racing into the sea.

Feelings I kept from showing,
burst through, sun rays piercing the gray.

Someone high above,
beams their golden smile at me.

April

Why do I like you so much?

Is it the sweet innocence of your face?
Your beauty and your feminine grace?
It is true for sure, but there's
more to it.

You open up to me
as a sunflower greets the sun.
You make me a part of your life,
trusting and warm.

The sweetness of your voice echoes in my heart.

Where others leave me at a loss,
wondering what went wrong.
You, you feel so right and true.

I could listen to you for hours,
I could spend all my time with you.
Knowing well you won't be
sitting next to me when it pours in June.

The warmth of your heart draws me still,
and I'm bound to you,
not against my will,
but with every strain of my beating heart.

I can think of nothing better,
than to always be with you.
And yet I know, it can't hold true.

April must move on and I must bear
the scorching heat of May.
Wade through the deluge of June,
and brave the winter cold.

But my heart feels strong still,
for it is kept warm by your tender loving heart,
sweet April!

The Honey Bee

A curious bee, that's me,
I can flit around aimlessly,
But mostly I'm your friendly
neighborhood honey bee.

I love the whiff of pollen
from a flower fresh as can be,
The thrill of the dive and exhilaration
When I find that perfect blossom all rosie.

Ah to sip that nectar divine,
And turn it to sweet honey
The sun smiles ever sweetly,
on the good ole bee colony.

We all fly, and sip and dine,
all the while making sweet honey
But lately I've grown a conscience you see,
a rather strange thing for a good ole honey bee.

My wings were wet and I soaked in the rain,
for a while as it may be
No sips of nectar or whiffs of pollen,
all that while were there for me.

Now I fly my buzzing flight,
humming 'I'm a good ole honey bee!'
And I chance upon a rosied bloom
singing 'Honey bee, come to me!'

I think a thought and tell myself,
'What a nice place to be'
I should dive right in and help myself
to those cups of nectar, oh so tastee.

And then it pops, this little thought,
'I'm not carrying any pollen for dear rosie'
So do I dive right in for that nectar so swee',
or should I gather some pollen first for dear lil rosie?

To be or not to bee,
that's quite a question you see
To weigh on the mind
of a curious little honey bee!

Days drift by and still I wonder

Days drift by and still I wonder,
when will the pain subside?
Did I lose a large part of me,
or were you the phantom I aspired to be?

Larger than life, unfaltering,
without limits or conditions,
love flowed from your spirit,
an endless font.

As a child did I bathe in those streams,
the rebel in me bade me jump away a times.
But nary could I stay away long,
for my spirit found harbour in your soul.

The streams that sprang forth as you walked,
they gave life to all that was around.
As phantoms are wont to do,
you disappeared without a trace.

Those streams that sprang beneath your feet,
they are but shrivelled and gone.
Now then, I stand,
a parched soul beside a dried bank.

My spirit perched on a smouldering boulder-rock,
watching a figure kneel in a dry river-bed.
And I wonder,
when will the pain subside?

Did I lose a large part of me,
or will those streams ever spring forth again?

Image of You

I see your face, I call your name,
I hold your hand, we stand in a frame.

We talk, we laugh, we cry,
we stand and walk together
under the big blue sky,
you and I.

Then the sky darkens and a bolt
streaks out of the deep, dark blue.

It strikes in a flash, and
suddenly, I can no longer see you.

My eyes pried
I watch my visions fade.

The still night,
sole witness to my state of mind.

I wonder where you went
and then it sinks in slow...

They told me,
they'd see shades of you,
in the words I spoke.

In the deeds I did,
they could see an image of you.

There were times when I'd hide from embracing it,
but it dawns clearer every passing day.
I see now how true it holds,
we were but cast in the same image,
you and I.

Times I'd see the best, and wonder why I was not.
Times I'd see weakness, and tell myself I was not.
Most times I'd wear a bearskin,
and struggle to be a creature I was not.

Now I no longer have voices tell me I'm so much like you,
in every breath, in every act
I see an image of you.

Five things i didn't know about Larry Page

1. He keeps a pulse on goings-on: insisting on approving every new hire — over 30k! to date -- by scanning a compressed version of the candidate's bio data -- going over one set per week and processing them in three or four days!

2. He has 'boundless ambition': he believes failure is when you stop attempting the outrageous --
  “Even if you fail at your ambitious thing, it’s very hard to fail completely... That’s the thing that people don’t get.”
(throws quotable quotes).

3. He likes people to 'think big' and make their ideas an order of magnitude more ambitious --

In 2003, Google execs debating setting up overseas engineering offices asked him how quickly he'd like Google to grow:
Page:  “How many engineers does Microsoft have?”
execs: About 25,000
Page: “We should have a million,” (in all seriousness).


4. He can have really far-fetched ideas!

In the early 2000s, Eric Veach, a Google software engineer was working on the early version of Google advertising system. Page was adamant on having a simple system which didn't require users to do anything more than give their credit card number.
During one session, Veach pointed out, not all countries commonly use credit cards.

Page proposed taking payments appropriate to the home country — in Uzbekistan, Google could take its payment in goats. :)

Veach: “Maybe we can get to that, but first let’s make sure we can take Visa and MasterCard.”

5. Both Page & Sergey Brin went to Montessori schools -- characterized by a spirit of freedom in pursuit of one's interests -- a spirit reflected in Page's pursuit of projects with potential to improve quality of life.


-- lifted shamelessly from 'Larry Page Wants to Return Google to Its Startup Roots'
by Steven Levy in Wired Magazine online, April 2011 edition.
 which is a shout out to  "In the Plex: How Google Thinks, Works, and Shapes Our Lives", copyright © 2011 Steven Levy, to be published by Simon & Schuster in April.

A Culture of Caring...

Reported to work on a Saturday morning.
The housekeeping staff seemed as surprised to see me as I was to see them.
The weekly mopping, window cleaning, dusting chores taking place. Me
and my team at our desks.

Suddenly we hear a mournful cry in the lane behind us -- it didn't
stop -- a painful slow cry -- as if to rend the air around.

We rushed to see a boy in housekeeping having an obvious fit -- he'd
collapsed and was shaking violently, a secretion from his mouth.

Me and my manager rushed to the admin section to get some medical
attention for the lad -- a very thin and boyish looking chap.

When we requested him to call for a doctor, he tells us that the
housekeeping staff are contractually bound and that their supervisor
would take him to a doctor if he thought fit -- and proceeds to phone
the the contractor to take stock of the situation.

I was a bit appalled at the mindset, which stems from a larger
cultural issue in this organization -- a rot that seeps down from the
top.
Everything here is divided into hierarchies -- if you're a certain
grade of manager, you get the red carpet -- if you're not that grade
of manager -- you might as well be a janitor -- nobody cares.

I was peeved, so I asked this admin chap, 'so if you're not a company
employee you're not entitled to urgent medical attention even if
really required'.

He was perhaps a bit peeved in return -- another cultural issue in the
organization stemming from the top -- you don't argue against
authority here -- just kiss above.

I couldn't help thinking later, there are a lot of cultural issues
here -- that I knew from the start. But I love my work --for the most
part. And I have some really great bosses and colleagues. In short I
like being here.

...but! Is it worth sticking at a place which reduces you to a mere
dispensable! Where you're valued more by your position and your
necessity to a given outcome. And lost in anonymity otherwise.

Is it better to be in a place which values you as a human being,
regardless of your position and prominence, and accords the same basic
dignity and rights to all...

My Bonny Baby...

My bonny baby got tipsy last night,
My bonny baby longed for a little fight!

I was blue cos I couldn't hold her tight,
N she was sad cos she didn't know what to do!

So we made a plan to get high and naughty,
Me n my bonny baby in a Vat o' 69!