Sunday, August 17, 2008

Knowing me, knowing you

Watched Ashutosh Gowariker's Jodhaa-Akbar on tv today. It was beautiful, well directed and acted. Let down by film editing in parts, but worth watching.
In one scene, Jodhaa tells a remorseful Jalaaluddin he knows to conquer but not to rule. You may conquer a person's body but to rule their heart you have to peek into their soul through the window of their mind. When you understand the little thoughts, likes and dislikes that make a person who they truly are, only then do you show true respect and win their heart.
Isn't that striking in our times of instant gratification. Today we implicitly expect an instant connection between two hearts, our own and whoever else catches our fancy. We try to find out and do little things to catch that person's attention, like gifting, being cool and all that, but do we take the trouble of knowing them really well. I want to connect with you and I want it to happen now baby, otherwise you can go take a walk! Is an instant, or 15 minutes, or a few hours enough to gauge a person? I don't know, it's hard to tell.
First impressions often make or mar a relationship. And getting to know someone better can either grow your respect for them or scare you away altogether. Sometimes people project themselves as one thing & turn out very different, and you realise they are keeping secrets or being manipulative.
Either way I think true respect and love can only grow where there is trust, no secrets, and complete understanding. That's one thing I want to work on - understanding - and by that I mean respecting enough not to deride, another person's wishes and desires, however incongruent I might consider them with my own thoughts.
Understanding - such a simple word, with so much meaning. Getting to know a person's thoughts, likes and dislikes. Not shooting down their proposals because they seem so unlike what you believe in, staying open to someone else.
Maybe that's one reason I like the movie so much.